If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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