Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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