soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
