we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
