yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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