Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
