Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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