Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
