Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
