I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
