Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
