He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
