There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
