In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
