Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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