Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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