Can Purell be used as lube?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
