You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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