shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
