im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
