the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
