We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
