Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
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