I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
