Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
