Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
