I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
