if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I would fuck him just for his dog
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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