We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
