my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My pussy is not your playground.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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