How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
