apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
