Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize