OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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