my mouth tastes like poor choices
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
