No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
