Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
