dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
