you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
