FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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