I love black thongs
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
