I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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