If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
