We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
