but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize