how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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