At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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