They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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