69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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