My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
