Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
They took my balls.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
