dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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