she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize