I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize