So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
