the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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