i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
