yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
