did you get engaged???
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So. Much. Porn.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
