The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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