i just sent this text using only my big toe
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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